Revealing Feelings
by firstwizardingwar
Summary: James has given up on Lily, but is it really too late?


Revealing Feelings

She walked through the common room as if on air. She gazed around the room as if she were searching for something or someone. She spotted him half asleep on the end of the couch infront of the fire. He didn't seem to notice the head girl looking down at him. He didn't see her eyes looking like she were five again, so innocent and gentle, not knowing what was really going on in the world around her. She sat down beside him, and sighed ever so slightly.

She didn't know he knew she was there thinking what on earth she wanted with him now. He'd given up on her a month or two ago. It'd been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. James Potter had been in love with Lily since the day he'd laid eyes upon her aboard the Hogwarts express in their first year. She'd never returned the favour.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the helpless look of her in her mint green pyjamas with lace around the corners. So, so helpless. Lily looked like the world had let her down, before she'd known it was happening. She was looking at him now, blinking every few seconds ever so slowly.

She bit her lip before saying. "James…"

'Yes Evans?" His words stung her, even if it were only two. He used her last name in reference to her. He'd always used her first given name, now it was this.

She hesitated. "Can you love someone so much you start to resent them for it?"

He put down his quill abandoning his essay. "Evans, what is this about?" He asked almost in a whisper.

"Just answer, please." She whispered even quieter. It were as if she said it any louder the words would no longer be pure.

"I suppose it's possible…" He murmured still in bewilderment.

"Okay." She said in a partial squeak. She shuffled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder and her arms entwined with his.

"Evans…" He said a little louder. Although he were completely content with her there, he was afraid of his heart beating rapidly inside his chest and his head feeling foggy.

"Shhh.." She mumbled. He was quiet almost immediately. They sat there staring at the fires flickering flames for almost a whole minute before one of them spoke.

"What's happened to you James? The past few months you've been so quiet. You don't speak out, no more pranks, you don't tease the first years. What happened. You've changed." She held her breath without realising it. She waited with baited breath for his answer, it took so long.

James had gone stiff. His posture had gone straight and he was hardly breathing. "Evans…" He felt her shift slightly as he said her surname. "I grew up, it's as simple as that."

"It can't be, it wouldn't be like you. You're too… full of pride, you wouldn't just grow up. There's a reason and you won't tell me."

Lily moved back over to the other side of the sofa and James hardly moved, just kept on staring into the bright, hot flames of the fire.

"Evans…"

"It's Lily." He paused and stared at her eyes for a second, as if searching for his reply in their emerald depths.

"Why aren't you up in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep, I needed to talk. Don't change the subject either." She told him off.

"Talk about what?" he asked curiously, brushing his messy jet-black hair with his fingertips as he spoke.

Lily scowled at his actions and brought her hand up gently to remove it from his dark locks. "Love and hate. It's so confusing isn't it? I mean you think you hate someone but then you notice something different and everything changes."

"Ev-Lily, I wouldn't know about that sort of thing. I've never had that problem shouldn't you ask Alice or Katie about this?"

"They wouldn't understand. They'd call me insane and annoy me with 'Who is it?' 'Who do you like?' All night until I gave in."

"Oh, so you like someone?"

"Not like, love."

"Love?" James gulped down air. Maybe he wasn't over his feelings for her after all.

"Is he perfect for you, he'll make you happy?"

"I have no doubt, but I don't believe he returns his feelings" she sighed squirming back over to her previous position in his arms.

"I'm sure he really does. No Wizard is good enough to be loved by you. He'd be lucky to have you."

"I hope so…But he thinks I hate him."

"Nah…I don't think anyone could." He could feel her deep breathing against his chest.

"James…He does I've said it so may times directly to him. I don't think it possible anymore."

"If he does I'll go after him and punch his lights out." He whispered angrily.

"James, You'd punch yourself?"

"Wha..?" and she kissed him.

* * *

Now, you've gone through all the trouble to read my story, please take an extra few seconds to tell me what you thought of it in a review. It'd be much appreciated. Thankyou. 


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